


Talk To Me

by twistedGodcomplex



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Sadstuck, davekat - Freeform, mentions bro, mentions daves abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 15:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10642914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistedGodcomplex/pseuds/twistedGodcomplex
Summary: Dave's always seemed a little off, a little jumpy, a little depressed, but Karkat always just assumed that it was a part of his personality. He was wrong.





	

He had been sitting there for hours. Shaking, crying. He could swear that he had closed the door, but he had curled up facing the wall and couldn’t bring himself to check.  
The other boy hadn’t seen him in a while, and he couldn’t deny that he was getting kind of lonely without him. Besides, his sudden disappearance worried him. Not like there were many places the missing boy could have run off to on the meteor. He wandered the halls until he came across a door that wasn’t quite open, but also definitely wasn’t closed. Was someone in there? He listened closer, it sounded like... like crying. He pushed the door open the rest of the way.  
“DAVE?”  
Dave jolted at the sound of the other boy’s voice and got up, still facing the wall. He wiped his eyes and hoped that he looked presentable enough to fool his friend.  
“hey, kitkat. whats up?” he said, trying to act casual.  
Karkat hated that nickname, but ignored it as he surveyed the room. It was completely empty. Nobody ever went in here, so why did Dave?  
“I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU. WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?”  
“no reason. dont worry about it.” Dave still faced away from Karkat.  
“DAVE.”  
“yeah?”  
“LOOK AT ME.”  
Dave turned around slowly. He kept his face down, but Karkat could still see the red blotches all over his face.  
“DAVE, WERE… WERE YOU CRYING?”  
Dave wiped his face, as if he could rub the redness off as easily as his tears. “n-no.”  
Karkat crossed the room to him and looked up at the taller boy, his arms crossed. “DAVE, TALK TO ME.”  
“im fine karkat. dont worry about me.”  
“YOURE NOT FINE. YOURE CRYING. DAVE PLEASE, I CARE ABOUT YOU. SOMETIMES.” Dave laughed a little at that. “NO, BUT REALLY. I CARE. WHY WERE YOU CRYING?”  
“i wasnt crying.” A single rebellious tear slipped down his face, and he wiped it quickly. “fuck,” he mumbled.  
“DAVE, YOU CAN TALK TO ME. PLEASE.”  
“it really doesnt matter.” Dave had kept it a secret his whole life, he couldn’t tell Karkat. Not now… Not ever. Nobody was allowed to know how weak he was.  
“IT MATTERS TO ME.” Karkat uncrossed his arms and went to touch Dave’s arm, and Dave flinched away.  
“dont- dont touch me. please...”  
Karkat looked at his friend with wide, worried eyes. “WHAT DID THIS TO YOU, DAVE?”  
“...who.”  
“SOMEONE DID THIS? ILL FUCKING END THEM, TELL ME WH-”  
“you cant. hes dead,” Dave interrupted.  
“HE? WHOS HE?”  
Dave leaned on the wall and let himself slide to the floor. “it... it really doesnt matter.” Karkat sat down next to him and sighed.  
“...OKAY. FINE. BUT IM HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ME.”  
“thanks.”  
The two sat together on the floor for a while. Dave felt himself start to fall asleep, but he really didn’t care. Rather, he didn’t care until he started to remember. It was like he was back, it felt so real. He suddenly jerked awake, and Karkat looked at him with genuine concern on his face.  
“DAVE? ARE YOU OKAY?”  
Dave started to shake again and curled himself into a ball. His friend shouldn’t see him, he had to hide.  
“p-please go, karkat... i cant... i cant let you s-see me like this...”  
“DAVE, TALK TO ME, PLEASE. I WANT TO HELP YOU.” He tried again to touch Dave’s arm, but Dave scrambled away from him. Karkat looked down at the floor.  
“IM SORRY. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOU... IM SORRY.”  
He got up to leave, and when he reached the door he turned back to see Dave looking over with tears still streaming down his face. Karkat could feel his own tears welling up, and he blinked them away. He cared too much, he couldn’t just leave him here, not like this. He shut the door and went back over to kneel down next to Dave.  
“Dave…”  
Dave looked up at the troll, still crying. “you... youre n-not…”  
“Not?”  
“youre not yelling…”  
“I can do this, sometimes. I just... I don’t want to be too loud for you right now.”  
“th-thank you.”  
“Now, please. Dave. Tell me what’s bothering you. Tell me who hurt you.”  
Dave was quiet for a moment. Karkat was his closest friend, he trusted the troll more than anyone else he had ever known. But… Telling him this? It would destroy Karkat’s opinion of him, his best friend would know how broken he really is.  
...Fuck it.  
“i… i grew up with my older brother.” He paused. “b-bro.”  
“Yes, I know. Like a lusus, but more involved and less terrible.”  
“i wouldnt say that.”  
“What?”  
“he... lets just say he wasnt exactly good to me. he didnt let me eat sometimes, and would launch these insane surprise attacks on me. for.. for trainin, i guess. i was almost always completely unprepared for them.”  
Karkat could only stare. From what he knew, the human lusii known as “parents” were supposed to care for and protect their young, not hurt them.  
“i always had to sneak around, t-terrified that any moment my insane brother would jump out and hit me with a fucking katana.”  
Karkat, still speechless, lightly touched Dave’s shoulder. He winced a little, but didn’t pull away.  
“he... hes the reason i wear the shades. he told me i was a freak, that nobody could ever love me because of how i am. he told me i had to hide.”  
“How you are?”  
“my eyes. theyre... not exactly natural for humans.”  
“You don’t have to be natural. Being different is better. It’s more fun... sometimes anyway.”  
Dave didn’t even hear Karkat’s response, he just continued. If he stopped for even a second, he knew he’d lose his nerve and stop talking altogether.  
“he... hit me. a lot. told me i deserved it, that i was a disgrace. if i cried i was weak, i needed to train more. i hated it, but i couldnt stand up to him. i thought he was right. i thought i needed to train, i thought i needed to be better. be cooler. be like him. i... i dont want to be like him anymore.”  
Karkat felt the tears start to roll down his face. “Dave, look at me.” Dave looked up at the troll to see him crying.  
“no, no, please dont cry. im so sorry, i-”  
“Dave. It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize to me. I’m crying because... Because I care about you. You aren’t like him.” He started getting angrier, and his volume started going up again. “He’s… He’s an INSUFFERABLE SHITLICKING FUCKJERK AND YOU DESERVED BETTER THAN TO BE RAISED BY SOMEONE AS FUCKING TERRIBLE AS HIM.”  
Dave kept crying. “n-no... i did deserve it. all of it. im terrible. a fr-freak, like he said.”  
“DAVE, YOU ARENT A FUCKING-” He stopped himself. “You are not a freak.”  
“ive been told my whole life that i am, you think im just going to fucking drop it because you said otherwise? yeah fucking right, karkat,” he said bitterly. Karkat blinked a few times, shocked.  
Dave saw the hurt on his friend’s face, and clambered to his feet. He started to pace, saying “no no no no nonono im turnin into him, oh god no no.” Karkat stood quickly and grabbed Dave’s arms, holding him still to look up at him.  
“Dave, it’s… It’s okay. You aren’t turning into him. You’re hurting, and it made you lash out. I understand, I really do. Trust me.”  
“im s-so sorry k-karkat.. im so f-fuckin sorry…” He shook, his face buried in his hands. Karkat gently took Dave’s hands and pulled them away from his face.  
“Dave?”  
“Y-yeah?”  
“Can… Can I see your eyes?”  
Dave pulled away and backed up a few steps, one hand on his shades even though at this point Karkat was too far away to try to take them off.  
“Dave... Don’t you trust me?”  
Dave trusted him, but his eyes were more than a huge deal for him. “i…” It was monumental, nobody but Bro had ever seen his eyes, and he had called him a freak. “no… im sorry... please dont hate me”  
“I… I see. I don’t hate you, but... I’ll just... go.” Karkat turned to leave.  
“wait...” The troll turned back turned back at the sound of Dave’s voice.  
“WHAT.”  
Dave flinched a little at Karkat’s volume returning to normal, but took a step forward and slowly pulled his shades off, his eyes closed and still leaking tears. Karkat hesitantly walked towards the human and looked up at him.  
“Dave… You really don’t have to.”  
“no. i want to. i... i need to.” Dave opened his eyes and looked at him. Karkat breathed in sharply, and Dave started to back up.  
“you hate them, dont you. im a freak, i knew it i knew i shouldnt have shown-”  
“NO,” Karkat interjected, his surprise making his voice return to its regular volume. “THEY... They’re beautiful.”  
“theyre... beautiful?”  
Karkat, entranced, walked forward and studied Dave’s eyes. They really were beautiful, even though he was crying. Karkat wiped one of Dave’s tears away.  
“Extremely.”  
Dave smiled a little, but it was halfhearted. “where were you the first 13 years of my life?”  
“Stuck on this fucking rock.”  
“yeah... i kinda wish you hadnt been.”  
“Yeah.”  
“just... fuck, i hate him.”  
“I do too. I really fucking do. Why did you get such a raw cut of the asshole deck?”  
That was, by far, the most accurate way of putting it than anything that Dave had ever thought of. “i… i dont know, it’s not f-fair... or maybe it is... maybe i deserve it... maybe i deserve to be back there... maybe i should be back there...”  
Dave fell to his knees and started sobbing into his hands. Karkat slowly sat down next to him and stroked his hair.  
“Hey… It’s okay. You’re not there anymore. You don’t deserve to be there, and you never have. You shouldn’t be there. You should be here, with people who care about you. With me.”  
Karkat pulled Dave into a hug, and he began to bawl into Karkat’s shirt. Dave started to hyperventilate, and Karkat caressed his hair, trying his best to keep him calm.  
“Breathe, Dave. It’s going to be okay. You’re okay now. You’re safe. I’m here for you.”  
Dave eventually calmed a little, but still cried hard, clutching Karkat’s shirt. “i... i think i love you,” Dave managed to choke out between sobs.  
“What?”  
Dave looked up at him, still crying. Karkat felt so conflicted, part of him felt pale for Dave, but he really couldn’t ignore his flushed feelings either. Then there was how completely frustrating he was sometimes... Everything was so confusing. He stayed quiet, and wiped some more tears off of his friend’s face.  
Dave noticed Karkat’s silence, and felt his face get hot from embarrassment about admitting feelings that didn’t seem to be reciprocated. He looked down.  
“you... you wont tell anyone about this, right?”  
“Of course. I wouldn’t break your trust like that.”  
Dave nodded and reburied his face in Karkat’s chest. They sat there together for about an hour, Dave crying and Karkat quietly stroking his hair to calm him down. Dave eventually cried himself to sleep, and as soon as Karkat was sure he was asleep, he whispered, “I love you too.”


End file.
